Writing, editing, and releasing an unexpected book was the highlight of my previous year. How did I get there?
Some things were set in motion during 2023. About a year removed from my prior career doing shift work for a soap manufacturing company, and determined never to go back (to avoid further accelerated deterioration of my lower vertebrae, among other reasons), I found myself deep in an unsuccessful job hunt. That didn’t surprise me; one reason I took so long to abandon my prior career was the expectation of a tough job hunt, based on past experience. What stung a bit more was hiring a specialized career agency that helped revamp my resume, finally landed me in-person interviews, and coached me for them, only to encounter the same result. The agency contract expired and I had a spruced up resume, but no job, and not for lack of effort on either side.
Then, a family member knew of a former coworker whose company was hiring at entry level in the middle of a crisis. They would train just about anybody to get some help quick. I still had to compete for my job, hot-dropped into a hectic environment with training on the fly, but I encountered the right opportunity at the right time and my efforts happened to be what the company required. I should never forget that suitable effort must intersect with other activating conditions to achieve a desired outcome, and I have very little patience for anybody who makes immediate negative assumptions about effort whenever the desired outcome isn’t achieved. We emphasize effort because we believe it’s within our control, but we should remain aware of other relevant factors.
It’s been a profound privilege to have a family willing to keep me off the streets while strongly encouraging me to pursue independent living. At age 38, I had finally landed an opportunity that would allow me to afford the lower end of Toronto’s rent.
The pivot between 2023 and 2024 was marked by finding my current living space, being approved for it, and setting my current life in motion.
An assisted and efficient move later, I found myself with space and time. Living around six other people and two dogs (one dog, admittedly, being super chill) required a certain daily energy for me to adapt. Living alone presents the opposite end of the same balance issue: I get to socially disengage (and recharge) as needed, but now I must remember to make time for the minimum level of social engagement I require. Now I would consider every problem I had not been solving because I needed to prioritize finding/maintaining work and the move while coexisting with others. I have never been stellar at multitasking, and pushing it too hard too quickly can cause severe distress; yet I realize life rarely allows me to hyperfocus on one thing until it’s done properly before considering the next. In fact, any hyperfocus I can muster probably involves neglecting other important things for that duration.
One issue had been lack of physical activity. Work used to involve standing, using my hands in pursuit of production targets I would have difficulty meeting; commuting was by public transit and often involved walking or standing. Put those together, and frequent physical activity was built into much of my day, though in a manner that has caused some ongoing issues. My first low-hanging fruit goal was to get moving again, but carefully, and within budget.
Most of my social media images in the ensuing year are from kayaking two routes: toward Hanlan’s Island, or up the Humber River toward Bloor Street. Given a set launch point from Budapest Beach, and specific windows of time, I had a good warm season of scheduled activities which didn’t particularly hurt my back. Once things got cold, I first invested in an elliptical trainer, but I had let too many sedentary weeks go by and was no longer ready for that; I then invested in a walking pad which I make sure to use most days. I’m working my way up to being able to “run”, for elliptical trainer values of running.
You might already have wondered where a new book fit in all this, especially since it wasn’t part of the plan. If there had been a book plan, it was created in 2015, not long after I self-published The Gift-Knight’s Quest. Before then, I didn’t even know what a sequel would be. I created a loose plan of six books by title. Most of those titles changed along the way, but the nature of the sequels followed by prequels were maintained.
The Redemption of Jarek, my seventh title, was not directly part of this plan. The events therein were strongly implied by statements made by character(s) in the first trilogy, while events in sixth book The Fate of Lenn certainly begged the question, “Where did Jarek slink off to and why doesn’t he have any further role in the catastrophe to follow?”
Perhaps I wanted this in my back pocket in case a fandom arose which demanded it. In contrast, perhaps the same motivators which pushed me to work on and release the prequel trilogy caught up with me once again: I don’t have infinite time to work with, and who else would I trust to tell my stories exactly as I would? If I have stories to tell, perhaps I had better write them while I can.
When the first quarter of 2024 didn’t keep me busy with moving and setting up this new life, or paddling in a boat, I learned of a worse feeling. I wondered if I didn’t have more stories, and what that meant to my life if so. It felt profoundly empty to wonder what more I could do for seven titles that never caught on with anybody.
Then, as if in answer to a prayer, something occurred to me around June. I could well have considered it while paddling in a boat or hand-washing dishes. Once I had even a shred of an idea, something I wouldn’t even call a full scene let alone a chapter or a story, there was no doubt in my mind.
I had time and space. If I didn’t take advantage of any spark I could muster, and the time and space to make something happen, then how did I know whether my future would leave me the same time and space?
Likewise, my recall capabilities aren’t stellar. I knew that at the very least the initial ideas should be written down because, yes, no fresh consideration is too important that I cannot possibly forget it. If I were lucky, I might recall it ten years later when it’s not such an opportune time.
Maybe writing it down was the necessary lifehack. Recording detailed ideas was a cleaner and marginally more linear way of exploring them; an idea became a scene which begged questions which gradually fleshed out a story. A process which left something that I would be able to access as long as I can still read English.
Life changed, as did my mood. Now I had a mission. Through July and August, things moved along so smoothly that I wondered if this had been the real story in my back pocket: something so thoroughly hidden that I have no record of it prior to June, nor had I been thinking about it due to the prequels. Something deliberately forgotten until the appointed time. Yet I have no way to substantiate that hypothesis, and didn’t feel like puzzling over that when I could write the story instead. I had a similar feeling while I created The Redemption of Jarek, as if I were recreating lost material from scratch.
Cue Materia Primoris (The X-Files Theme) for comedic effect; then I break the fourth wall to meet your gaze, shrug my shoulders, and get back to work.
It was going so well that I wondered whether I could release it for my birthday in mid-September, as a gift to myself. I’m glad I didn’t do that. I still keep two separate repositories of stages of editing and I could one day show you just how glad I am that I didn’t stop so early. If we’re only considering the edits performed after I began to use Atticus software to anticipate the paperback layout and ebook format (i.e. late in the process, excluding many date-in-title versions for Microsoft Word kept in a different folder), there are almost 40 separate run-throughs saved. The proper edits took me into the month of October.
Everything seemed to unfold when it should. I don’t believe I could have finished it sooner, or if so, not properly.
All this, amidst the backdrop of brewing sociopolitical upheavals on a global scale that haven’t yet touched me but will inevitably reach us all at the appointed time. Never a shortage of things to consider.
Now we have entered 2025. I’m left to wonder what else is in my back pocket, if anything, and what comes next.
